Not with a bang but a whimper

Have you ever thought about what you'd like your last words to be? I know that's dreadfully morbid, but I hope that when my time comes I have the presence of mind to rattle off something so clever or profound that it will leave people with their mouths slightly ajar. Here are some of the best I found. I think they speak for themselves.

• Thomas Jefferson still survives. -John Adams

• Is it not meningitis? -Louisa May Alcott

• You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you. -Alex the Parrot

• To the strongest. -Alexander the Great, naming an heir

• Waiting, are they? Waiting, are they? Well, let 'em wait! -Ethan Allen, when told the angels were waiting for him.

• Cold Harbor. June 03. I am dead. -Union soldier, a note found pinned to his body.

• Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. -Marie Antoinette, after stepping on the executioner's foot.

• Equanimity. -Antoninus Pius, giving the password to the Praetorian Guard, before they killed him.

• Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel. -George Appel, executed 1928.

• Don't disturb my circles! -Archimedes

• Let me die in the old uniform in which I fought my battles for freedom. May God forgive me for putting on another. -Benedict Arnold

• The ladies have to go first. Goodbye, dearie. I'll see you later. -John Jacob Astor, on the Titanic.

• Am I dying, or is it my birthday? -Lady Nancy Astor, on waking to see her family at her bedside

• I found Rome brick, I leave it marble. -Augustus

• I want nothing but death. -Jane Austen

• Codeine... bourbon...-Tallulah Bankhead

• Die, I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would ever allow so conventional a thing to happen to him. -John Barrymore

• Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished. -Beethoven

• I should never have switched from scotch to martinis. -Humphrey Bogart

• France, Army, Josephine. -Napoleon

• Tell mother, tell mother I died for my country. Useless. Useless. -John Wilkes Booth

• I am about to- or I am going to- die: either expression is correct. -Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian.