 |
| Co-eds from 1912. Image from shorpy.com |
"Don't begin resorting habitually to the Quick Lunch." I was guilty of doing this in the Fall of my freshman year. I had it down to a science: table by the window, two slivers of pizza, half a glass of Mr. Pibb, two peanut butter cookies on the way out the door. It was so utterly depressing. Don't do it.
"Don't attempt, in a large dining hall, to get a place at a society, club, or athletic table for which you have not yet qualified." Know your place, you peons.
"Don't try continually to air the sum of knowledge which you are just assimilating." Don't brag about things you're learning like you're already an expert. Chemistry 101 does not a chemist make.
"Don't keep telling how they do things in that part of the country which you come from." This is true especially if you're a Northerner. If you complain about or mock the South and the people who live here, you cease to become a Northerner and you become a Yankee. Or worse, you become a Carpetbagger. Neither of those are terms of endearment. I had French with a girl from New York who did just this. She spewed nothing but hatred for the South from the very first day of class, and yet she was paying thousands of dollars a year to be here.
"Don't monopolize the conversation at the table, especially if there are older men around." Don't do this, period. It's rude no matter who you're with.
"Don't continually find fault with the things you have to eat. Act as if you were used to eating away from home." Seriously, would you do this at a friend's house? It's not that bad, and everyone else eats it too.
"Don't forget to attend a large percent of your lectures." Class? You mean the thing we do to keep us occupied between football games? If you show up, the professor or instructor will be much more likely to work with you if you have a problem.
"Don't let yourself be mesmerized into taking a lot of things you feel a positive disinclination for." Find your passion. When you do that, you'll actually want to go to class. I was fortunate; I came to college knowing what I wanted to do and I stuck with it. It's okay to change your mind. Don't become a chemical engineer if you really want to teach elementary school. Don't become a doctor if you really want to be an accountant. You'll be a happier person for it.
"Don't mistake the willingness to accept a 'snap' course for a startling aptitude for the subject." A snap course is a class that can be passed with a minimum amount of effort. Just because you enjoyed Psych 101 and made an A just by listening in class, that doesn't mean you need to change your major. You're not the next Sigmund Freud; you're just like everybody else who was in the class and conscious.
"Don't abuse the Elective System if you are privileged to be at a college where it is employed." Some majors, like engineering, nursing, and education, follow very rigid schedules with very little room for extra classes. Other departments (i.e. the Liberal Arts and Humanities) chuck a course catalogue at you and run away. If you fall into the former category, check and double-check everything your adviser tells you. They are not infallible, and I have friends who have been really thrown off by their recommendations. If you fall into the latter category, your adviser can offer good advice, but it's up to you to make sure you're taking the right classes.
"Don't neglect any honest opportunities you may have to make friends with an Instructor or Professor." We can tell when someone is genuinely interested in what we are teaching, and it's appreciated. We are not in academia for the money, I promise. We do it because we cannot fathom a life filled with something other than the subject we love. Your professors can teach you so very much, if you let them. Also, they are generally really cool, intelligent, interesting people. (I might be a bit biased.) If that's not reason enough, we are also the people who will write you letters of recommendation in four years, when you decide you'd rather not become a grownup and you want to go to grad school.
"Don't try to fool the College Doctor into believing that you can't go to lectures, or are going to die, because you've sprained your left thumb." Don't try to con the folks at the Student Health Center. They won't be fooled. On a related note, and I've actually witnessed this before, don't try to weasel your way into your professor's good graces by telling them you were sick yesterday, when the giant black X's are still clearly visible on your hands. Most of us still remember a time when we couldn't legally drink. We know what the X's mean. Save your breath.
"Don't fail to make a list of the required reading in any course." We know you won't read it all. Heck, I've got an English degree. That's essentially having a B.A. in B.S. But read enough of it to be able to form one or two coherent points or questions.
"Don't think that exams can be passed without any preparation." You might have made straight A's in high school without ever cracking a book. You might be able to get through college in the same manner. I was, though it was harder to do. The people who can do that are few and far between. Don't count on your being one of those happy few.
"Don't rely upon special tutors to pass all your courses." Get help when you need it, of course, but don't expect somebody to hold your hand all the time. Also, the book labels this section "Intellectual Narcotics," referring to a magic 'learning pill' in Gulliver's Travels. I'm going to extrapolate on that: don't abuse Adderall or other controlled substances that aren't yours. I know you probably will, but it is a powerful drug. It's very potent and you can get addicted.
"Don't try in your exams to make a hit by writing long papers." One of my favorite professors, when asked how long an essay should be, he always replied, "As long as it needs to be." Answer the question, no more, no less.
"Don't rely wholly upon typewritten notes to get through your courses." I love the fact that this was already an issue 100 years ago. You may find that you also learn better by writing the notes yourself. I never even used a computer in class. I always wrote my notes out in longhand. Just the act of physically writing the information was usually enough to cement it in my memory.
"Don't put off that long piece of written work till the night before it is due." I'd be the biggest hypocrite on the planet if I told you not to do this. I was always totally incapable of writing a decent paper until my back was against the wall. It wasn't at all healthy, but it worked. I used to stay up all night writing, show up in class still twitchy from caffeine, and hand it in. Some people work best in small chunks, with multiple drafts and careful planning. In the words of a wise classmate of mine, "If you only have a minute, it only takes a minute." Figure out which type you are as soon as possible. Know thyself.
"Don't idle away time to such an extent that you get a reputation as an idler, either among your friends or with members of the faculty." Nobody likes a slacker. To quote the United Negro College Fund, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
"Don't fail to keep in mind the flight of steps which represents the descent from the plane of regular work." You CAN flunk out of college.
"Don't show disrespect or contempt for the College Dean, or for the retinue within his gates." Don't trash or antagonize J.Bo., or whoever the resident authority figure at your university happens to be. Or if you do, don't sign your name to it. Never leave a paper trail.
I'll have to turn this into a three-parter. I'll finish it tonight or tomorrow.
Until then,
Rah-rah sis-boom-bah,
Callie R.
No comments:
Post a Comment