Advice for the College Freshman: Part III

This should wrap up our series of advice for the college freshman. I hope you enjoyed reading it, because I enjoyed sharing it.

"Don't hesitate to go out for any teams or papers or musical clubs which you think you'd like to make." This is totally sound advice. What's the absolute worst that can happen? Besides, modern colleges make it a lot easier to get involved in clubs. Most of them, at least in my experience, don't require any sort of audition.

"Don't be surprised or disappointed to keep up with everything you thought you would, when first coming to college." This is so true. In high school, you can fill your plate with every extracurricular activity under the sun, and still make straight A's. That is much harder, if not impossible, in college. You might also realize, much like I did with Scholars' Bowl, that it was fun in high school thanks to the people you were with.

"Don't think that offering suggestions to an athletic coach is the way to make a team." I don't think Nick Saban needs your help.

"Don't, for heaven's sake, ask people how one ought to about getting into social clubs." If you don't come into college with a healthy understanding of how the Greek system works, it's probably not for you.

"Don't hesitate to accept all chances for making friends, especially among your class." I wish this went without saying, but it doesn't. If you're Greek, you can be friends with a GDI, and vice versa. Same goes for any other type of person on campus. There are cool people that move in every social circle.

"Don't rely too much on prejudice in deciding what certain fellows may or may not be good for."

"Don't invite everybody you meet to your room." You don't have to be best friends with everybody. It's impossible. Besides, not everybody you meet will be good for you. Stay away from poisonous relationships.

"Don't shake hands like a clam." I can't make that any clearer.

"Don't be one of those who continually pick up anything on the street that wears a bonnet and high heels." I would be wary of picking anybody up who was wearing a bonnet. She's probably a ghost. But seriously, don't sleep with anything and everything that moves. You can pick up all kinds of stuff that way.

"Don't, however, neglect any opportunity to meet ladies of your own station." You never know when you'll meet Mr. or Miss Right. It might be in college, but don't fret if it isn't.

"Don't hesitate to hear other people's opinions. The world did not begin, nor will it end, with you." 

"Don't strut or look patronizing, if you happen to have success; it makes people feel sorry for you." It also makes people creatively plot your murder.

"Don't forget the little things; fellows notice them." People will judge you without ever speaking to you. It's not fair, but it's the way life works.

"Don't imagine that your entire success in college will be finally measured by the number of clubs you make during your first year." You'll drop 75% of them by your second year.

"Don't expect to lay up a bank account by what you save from living inside your allowance." I had to learn this the hard way. Not going broke is NOT the same thing as saving.

"Don't forget to write home once every so often. Mama and Papa are always glad to see the College town postmark; and, like as not, Papa is paying your way through college. Think how you'd feel, if he forgot, sometimes, to send that check!"

"Don't treat Father or Uncle John shabbily if one of them happens to come into town unexpectedly."

"Don't swagger when you go home for your first Thanksgiving or Christmas vacation. It doesn't make your friends envious of you. It's apt to make them sore."

"Don't think because you can charge things at almost any store in the College Town, it is your duty to have your name on the books of every firm."

"Don't think it is your father's duty to present you with an automobile."

"Don't pawn your watch or sleeve-links during your first year. This privilege is limited to upperclassmen who do Society." What? Why would you pawn your watch just for fun? Don't do that.

"Don't buy cigars in wholesale quantities from mysterious-looking foreigners, who say they have just done a neat little job of smuggling them from Havana, and are willing to let you in on a good thing." That's oddly specific, but the point is fair. That's how a person wakes up in a bathtub filled with ice, missing a kidney. Stay away from drug dealers.

"Don't give money to able-bodied beggars. Some may even speak good French or German." Hmmm. If I met a beggar who could speak to me in perfect French, I'd totally give them money. That's impressive. It's also scary. I have degrees in history and English. That will probably be me one day.

"Don't kill your conscience in regard to matters which you have been brought up to see in definite lights." Some of the people around you will lose their damn minds and every moral bone in their body when they get to college. These people often end up in jail once or twice. This is seriously good advice. Take it.

"Don't get into the little game too often." Don't gamble your money away, folks.

"Don't keep spending money for a lot of things that you would hardly care to itemize in the account you send to Father." Remember that these sketchy charges also show up on your credit card statement. Pay in cash.

"Don't be ashamed of chances to earn money in college, if you need it." In the immortal words of Missy Elliott, "Girl, girl, go get that cash, if it's 9-to-5 or shakin' your ass. Ain't no shame, ladies, do your thing, just make sure you ahead of the game."

"Don't be a Sport or a Snob. Either is fatal." Nobody likes a snob.

"Don't imitate the manner of someone else."

"Don't pretend you have a fancy income, if you haven't." There's nothing wrong with being not-rich.

"Don't fail to keep one eye on that bank account." Seriously, it dwindles fast.

"Don't neglect the health habit." Beat the Freshman 15.

"Don't repeat all the jokes which come into your head."

"Don't, if you come from a large, well-to-do Preparatory School, talk too much about it, or think that the College must be run on the same plan as your school." Along those lines, even if you were Homecoming King and the quarterback and class president and valedictorian, you are still an anonymous nobody. Get used to it.

"Don't aspire to be taken for an upperclassman by cultivating a walk, a swagger, or an air." Upperclassmen can spot freshmen from a mile away, especially if they do this.

"Don't be rowdyish or get the reputation of being a drunken fellow." You won't be popular for long.

"Don't think it is entirely the other man's fault if he fails to speak to you." You may not be worth talking to.

"Don't be a fool."

"Don't imagine for a moment that coming to college enables you to act in a superior way to others who have not had the same privilege." There are brilliant and wealthy people who have never been to college at all. There are woefully stupid college students, and there are oodles of unemployed and debt-ridden college graduates.

"Don't imagine that the College Catalogue, or even this book can tell you all the things you need to know concerning how to make a man of yourself." The best school in the world is still the school of hard knocks.

Always,
Callie R.