Things that went over your head as a child.

It's pretty common knowledge these days that fairy tales were not originally as G-rated as Walt Disney would have you believe. But what about nursery rhymes? The little ditties that are chanted at children practically from birth aren't always terribly friendly either. Of course, many of the more macabre rhymes have fallen out of popular use. Others are still pretty subversive, but it makes no difference if nobody realizes what a rhyme is referring to.





"I had a little nut tree, Nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg, And a golden pear;
The King of Spain's daughter Came to visit me,
And all for the sake Of my little nut tree."

This rhyme dates to c 1506, and refers to Princess Joanna "the Mad" of Castile, and was written in honor of her visit to Henry VII of England. She reigned for 50 years, but was imprisoned in a nunnery for much of her life, under the pretense of mental illness. However, she did likely suffer from severe depression or schizophrenia.

"The King of France, the King of France, with 40,000 men,

Oh, they all went up the hill, and so- came back again!"

You've sung this before, but probably with the later lyrics "the noble Duke of York." This rhyme refers to an unknown battle involving France and Spain. (Take your pick as to which one.) It was written by an Englishman named Tarlton, who died in 1588, so it must have been penned before that.

"Please to remember the fifth of November, 

Gunpowder treason and plot.

I know no reason why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot!"

Obviously, this refers to Guy Fawkes, the guy (no pun intended) who on 05 November 1605 was caught underneath Parliament with several dozen barrels of gunpowder. This was back when people actually liked their legislators, because the poor bloke was hanged, drawn, and quartered. Every year on Guy Fawkes Day, he is still burned in effigy.

"Little General Monk 

Sat upon a trunk
Eating a crust of bread;
There fell a hot coal
And burnt into his clothes a hole,
Now little General Monk is dead.
Keep always from the fire,
If it catch your attire
You too, like General Monk, will be dead."

Unfortunately, (or not, depending upon your point of view), I can find no background on this little gem. But I feel the horror speaks for itself.

"THERE was a lady all skin and bone,
Sure such a lady was never known :
This lady went to church one day,
She went to church all for to pray.

And when she came to the church stile,
She sat her down to rest a little while :
When she came to the churchyard,
There the bells so loud she heard.
When she came to the church door,
She stopt to rest a little more ;
When she came the church within,
The parson pray'd 'gainst pride and sin.
On looking up, on looking down,
She saw a dead man on the ground :
And from his nose unto his chin,
The worms crawl'd out, the worms crawl'd in.
Then she unto the parson said,
Shall I be so when I am dead ?
Oh yes ! oh yes ! the parson said,
You will be so when you are dead."


Does this one even need any commentary either. This is another one for which I can find no origin. I'm just glad I didn't know either one of those last two as a child.


"TAFFY was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief ;
Taffy came to my house and stole a piece of beef :
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was not at home ;
Taffy came to my house and stole a marrow-bone.
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was not in ;
Taffy came to my house and stole a silver pin :
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was in bed,
I took up a poker and flung it at his head."


I find this one rather hilarious. But then again, I'm not Welsh. Welshmen were once stereotyped as being thieving little sneaks, and "Taffy," because the Welsh language makes absolutely no sense, is Welsh for "David." This song appeared in print in 1780, and was intended for use on St. David's Day.




Now, dear readers, I'll leave with one final rhyme. This one is merely a stanza of a fairy tale, "The Story of Catskin." It is an early version of "Cinderella," and is so interesting, I will certainly devote more lines than these to it at a later date.


"You go with your Catskin robe,
    You dirty impudent slut !
Among the fine ladies and lords,
    A very fine figure you'd cut."


I'll tell you one thing, the meaning of the word "slut" has changed little throughout the centuries.


After all, if history can teach us anything, it is that the more things change, the more they stay the same.