Well, kids, it's about time for Santa Claus to come around again. I hope y'all have been better than I have. But maybe I can make up for it now by presenting this informing my readership that Santa doesn't want your freaking cookies and milk. Here are some alternative items to leave out on Christmas Eve. Do the big guy a solid.
Let's recap. Santa wants:
Lucky Strikes (c 1949). Camels and/or Prince Albert (1940). For you to not call your family this Christmas (1942). Some sweet, sweet vinyl (1946). Chesterfields (1947). More Camels/Prince Albert (1947). A Rand McNally Atlas (1948). Alka-Seltzer (1958). A Fiat 850 (1967). A Smith-Corona Typewriter (1977). Crown Royal Whiskey (1979). Microrim R:BASE CLOUT (1984).
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